Andy Warhol said, "In the future everybody will be world famous for fifteen minutes."  You cant choose the 15 minutes but why would you be world famous?

Am one of those superstitious people, I am scared if I say it, I will jinx it. Come to think of it, its not fame am yearning for, but a certain recognition.  Sophia a friend of mine even thought me to say TOUCH WOOD*bangs on own table*, whenever I felt I would jinx something I want.

When I finished Matric, I really thought the world was my oyster, with education I could conquer anything.  Alas nothing went according to plan.  This does not mean am not grateful for the path am on now.  However from then on I decided to keep my dreams in, I whisper them in God's ears and keep them in darkest place only I know of.  Sometimes, I write them in my diary, so that they can get a little bit of light.

I do however hope my fame wont be for 15 minutes, that by the end of a certain journey am still going to embark on, my fame will be worth a lifetime.

Emotional Intelligence

Yesterday in class, Business Management, Rudolf was talking about emotional intelligence.  This is basically*now I sound like a Kwaito star, using words like basically* how you choose your battles, I hope this is right, I was half listening.  Anyways, let me try to break it down.  I love getting my own way, this is something I get from my mother and my sisters.  At home people don't solve problems, they would rather sulk than admit they are wrong.  Its a terrible habit and in our defence we are a house full of women.  This terrible habit we practise on each other or our partners, not on friends funnily enough.

This has made dating particularly hard for me, because its my way or the high way.  So you can just imagine the fights I get in with the poor sods that find themselves under my spell.  In most cases, when they meet me, they find this exciting, a challenge, a woman who has her own thoughts until it bites them in the ass.

To even admit this shows a little maturity on my side, because for a long time I would not.  Take today for instance I wanted to make a certain person bleed, yes bleed for not giving me the attention I feel I deserve.  Instead of being aggressive about it, I politely asked him what I needed to ask, he gave me his answer and I proposed a solution, he agreed and said thank you.  If that is not emotional intelligence on my part I don't know what is.  Baby steps, am not going to be healed immediately, but am willing to try.  His worth it...

A skill called leadership.

I think I have the worst leadership skills, well am a Robert Mugabe type of leader, I mean well, but my intentions are always seen as me being a bully.  If we look at the Robert Mugabe saga, he meant well at the beginning.  Most of Zimbabwe's land was owned by a minority group, and that was not exactly fair.  He could have found a better solution than the land grabbing yes, but decided otherwise.

I am a great orator, a passionate person, loyal, I analyse things to the point I exhaust every possible angle.  I do not make well thought of moves, you will have to make me smoke a bag of weed before I do anything I consider stupid, that is how hard it is to convert me from anything I believe in.  I am one of the biggest partypooper, I live on the borderline of boring.  I hate being told what to do. 


Not everyone has got leadership skills, they should always be followers, the salt of the land really.

My favourite leader of all time, is Thabo Mbeki.  They say leaders must be charismatic, dynamic, tall and he was none of these.  However he was a man with a plan, a great negotiator, filling Nelson Mandela's shoes must have been daunting.  We must remember Mandela promised, Mbeki had to deliver.  I don't think Mbeki was a born leader, but he was groomed or thought the skill...education makes a lot of things possible.  With that being said, I think our country was not ready for him, he came too soon.

1 NIGHT EXTRAVAGANZA

Last week Saturday, the day before I fly back to Cape Town, I sleepover in Bloem in order to make my 09:30 flight.  I left Aliwal North *Eastern Cape* at 11:00 and got to Bloem at 14:30, with 3 boys who used to be my juniors in High School.  The ride was pleasant till the car died right when we got to Bloem, and the poor lads still had to go Joburg.  We called a friend to come to help, by 18:30 and 3 mechanics later, they decided to leave the car behind and hitch-hike to Joburg.  I on the other hand stayed in Bloem, obviously.

My wingman first took me to supper, we did our normal catch up session, laughed and he called it a night.

I on the other hand hit the town with my gay boys, and we painted Bloem BRIGHT PINK!!!  Xanzi was in town...for one night only.  To be in a club full of people you know*sigh*, the feeling is indescribable.  Jamie Foxx is the best person who can describe the epic night we had, with his song 1 NIGHT EXTRAVAGANZA.  So we partied like it was the 31 December 1999, and by 06:30 we went home, I slept for 30 minutes.  Woke up and caught a flight to Cape Town. 

Sure I cant go back to Bloem permanently, but nights like that one make me remember that Xanzibar is still alive, she has just been temporarily put away.

"Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read" (Frank Zappa)

This comment made me immediately wana say:  ROCK ON!!!!!!!!!! And I don't even like nor listen to Rock music.  I have however seen Bono looking hella of cool though.

OH but does Frank Zappa not sound like those snobby people who  walk like they have carrots up their toosh and when they don't like a certain music genre, they must diss it.  I can see him sitting in his lounge in his silk nightgown with a cup of tea listening to opera music, puffing on a cigar. 

I have seen posters that say Zappa in clubs or these grunge artsy places I like going to.  I always thought he was a Rock star himself,or a person who does portraits of Rock stars.  With that being said, I am a supporter of any reading, I don't even judge people who read the Daily Sun as long as they don't use those stories as reference to real life.  Knowledge is power, words are weapons.  Come to think of it, I once read a copy of the Rolling Stone before we got our own South African version, I had no cooking clue what they were talking about.  That did not make me think Rock journalists are not good writers, but I merely thought maybe its because am not familiar with the rock scene.  I still want to go to a Rock Fest, scream Rock on, scream my lungs out, act stupid, jumping up and down like we see in those European festivals they normally show on TV*yes, am a lost case, but am always game for anything new*. 

*note to self:  ask Zaan about Frank Zappa, am too lazy to ask google my smart friend*.  

List your top 200 achievements

I DON'T WANT TO*cheekily says this to the Blog-Big Brother*

Imagine listing all those "achievements" all here, that would take the whole day, and I don't have time.  Yeah I know you  reading this judging me, thinking please Zanele you just plain lazy its got nothing to do with time!  Yes I am, LOL, sue me its my blog.  Plus my achievements are mine to celebrate and share with the people close to me.  Add to the fact that some of us don't like bragging and making other "kids" feel inferior.

People who know me, know that I love clothes, or is it clothes that love me...either way its a lovely affair.  I have no idea why this is the only 'achievement' that is popping in my head or no I do.  As I am typing this in my room there is a picture of me and Bonke on my wall that triggered the memories of that night.  Well this achievement was obtained in 2000 and*starts thinking hard*, well maybe we should leave the exact year, don't want to expose my real age, ha ha ha.  Well that certain night was our Residence, Huis Welgemoed's end of the year function.  Like any function there were awards being handed out for the night, and I won the Best Dressed Lady in the Res for that whole year, not the night.  So this is the only achievement am willing to share...

Do come back for the next 199.

 

Suddenly...

Life has a meaning to me, there is a song that goes like this.  Am not sure what my meaning is this morning, but I know I woke up to a breathtaking day in Cape Town.  Went on a month and a few weeks holiday and i did not want to come back.  When I woke up today that feeling was gone...You cannot help but have those "but I love Cape Town deep sighs".

Maybe its the extra sugar I put in my oatmeal...or the lovely chat I had with the security guard from my Residence, the pair of shoes I just bought that I don't necessarily afford*curse of a woman*or that 'special friend' that always puts a smile on my face of late, whatever it is its so SUDDEN...but welcomed.

 

 

 

 

What motivates me?

I have never considered myself as a feminist, but sometimes I do think men must be banished to the belly of hell, the ones that do deserve it of course.  This is mostly when I read about the terrible stories of women and children who suffer in the hands of men who are supposed to be protecting them.  When you listen to yet another friend crying because some guy took her for a "ride", the corrective rape against lesbians we keeping reading about.  There are too many injustices I could write about, and how sometimes the country itself is a terrible place to live in and how harsh women as a whole in Africa have always had it.

Yet I always find or read stories that make me proud to stand tall as black South African young woman.  Starting from the woman who raised me, who speaks and lives the truth she knows, my sisters who keep pushing when the world says IT CANNOT BE DONE, and my wonderful girlfriends from all walks of life.

You cannot help but me motivated when you read the following women's profiles:

Sbu Mpungose:  She started editing at 22, has worked for DRUM, Edgars Club magazine, Bona and True Love.  She is currently the first black woman to be the Editor of Cosmopolitan, South Africa.









Khanyi Dhlomo:  Editor of True Love at 22.  Now Founder of Destiny Magazine.












Dr Nkosazana Dlamini Zuma:  SA Minister of Home Affairs and first South African and the first female to be elected AU Commission Chair.





 Ellen Johnson Sirleaf:  President of Liberia and the first elected female head of state in Africa.













These are the women who motivate me, and keep reminding me in the midst of the chaos, there ARE still possibilities in this country and continent.  That my dreams are attainable. 

   

Letter to my 18 year old self.. 

Don't worry I think you came out alright so far, even though there are a few things we can fix.  You were right to stand your ground and not ever want to fit in, do thank your two older sisters for that one.   You need to stand for something and know what you are about before anything in life.  Listen to your inner voice, it will never lead you astray, that does not mean you have to be a chicken though.  Oh mom was right when she said there is no rush to anything in life, the fun never runs out, in time you will be part of it, just prioritise first.  The acne will go away eventually, but you will later realise the people who truly loved you never noticed it in the first place.  You will learn that education does not guarantee success, but it will pretty much give you the upper hand in most cases.  Decide what career suits you and chase it with every fibre of your being.  God will let you date your that one guy you had a crush on, oh darling, it was just a farce, there is not much to him.  Dating won't get any easier anytime soon, but you WILL meet men that make it impossible to settle for less.  There are good men.  Yes the sheep with the purest white wool can be the wolf, shoot it if you have a gun.  You will trip and fall, but you later learn to celebrate little blessings in every situation.  Laugh, don't dwell in the future, because you might overlook the people who you supposed enjoy now with.  Let go of toxic people, don't be loyal to people who don't value nor understand the word.  The boys will always be around, even though two of them won't make it to 25.  You chose well with your girlfriends.  Don't be mad or sulk for too long, you miss out on precious moments with your friends.  Khothatso will always be around, luckily for you.  Puleng will be thousand miles away, but literally a message away anytime of the day.  Even though you bullied Bulelwa throughout primary school because you thought she was weak, she will later be the one friend who makes you laugh throughout every single tear.  You will learn that your Mom is not actually against you, but simply trying to make sure you turn out okay.  Stay away from any drugs, they really are addictive. Some of the best days of your life will be around a lot of people, but you will cherish the quite Sunday mornings by yourself more.  Keep reading and 27 will be here sooner than you think.  Never stop surrounding yourself with people from every walk of life, you will be surprised what you can learn from a mere stranger. Don't judge, but respect everyones journey.  Do not stop being protective of your friends, they will appreciate it in time.  Oh  God does have a wicked sense of humour by the way, but he will always be an ally.



  

The 10 most unexpected consequences of being online

There are alot more consequences of being online, these stood out for me:

1.  Its addictive you cannot go a day without updating or sharing what is happening in your life and there is that constant need to share, its like an irritating itch that must be scratched.

2.  There is little pivracy, and by constantly updating people can usually track where you are and where you live.

3.  Makes a person unproductive, there is a certain site that when I have logged on I barely see that the time is flying by.  Most companies have also blocked most social networks because their employees are constantly online instead of working.

4.  There was a survey that was done that showed that more people are suffering from insomnia because they are always online. 

5.  Its made falling inlove and having sex instant.

6.  Puts pressure on people to lie about their everyday lives.

7.  Its started cyber bullies.

8.  It creates a sense of you are never really alone.

9.  People do not know what not to share online anymore.

10.  It has the power to promote propaganda or liberate an entire nation.

The elephant in the room

Oh gosh mine is PINK, just standing there in the midst of my tiny house that is my mind.  I am quite a straight forward person, who has surrounded myself with people that always shy away from the truth or as they say, they think positive.  So am the bloody pessimist in the room, while everybody else says the glass is half full. 

Needless to say, as stubborn as I am, sometimes when people keep saying the same thing to me maybe its time for some self evaluation.  My elephant, is the way I over analyse things, I dwell on them, till I am satisfied that yes this glass maybe is half full, bleh.  This I truly believe am doing to protect myself, to avoid disappointment and to be able to live with me, myself and I.

Sometimes though am too precautions that I end up missing on the fun am told*so overrated by the way*, even though am not someone who believes in missed opportunities.   Take yesterday for instance, yesterday I took a chance and did something that I did not think through, the end result, adrenalin rush that lasted exactly for 3 minutes...but now my ego is bruised.

So my Dear Pink Elephant, please overstay, I will just have to work around you.

Johannesburg - Maboneng

We all have some kind of phobia, I know most black folks are scared of snakes, my male friends are scared of frogs and cats*superstitions really* and my Mother is terrified of worms to the point that in her Will she has stated she wants to be cremated to avoid being devoured by worms.  I on the other hand am petrified of Johannesburg...the programs I watched on TV really messed me up.

So for the past few years I have been avoiding or refusing really any invites to come visit my friends who have relocated to the Streets of Gold.  I always imagined that the moment I got off Park Station, I would take a wrong turn, get mugged and the incident with the girl at Noord Taxi Rank  just put me off completely.

As life would have it, one of my closest friends Chocky moved to this side when I moved to Cape Town.  The long emails, phone calls, daily BBMs could not be enough for our friendship.  Plus I miss being in her presence, she is the one person who shares the same passion for books as I do, and has the most amazing laugh that comes from the pot of her belly.  So here I am blogging from her bed, in a room full of books, I did not get mugged, nor did I see the Tsotsis I have always imagined roam the streets of Johannesburg.

In the few days I have been here, she has shown me her Johannesburg, its the places I would have liked if I stayed here.  Newtown is more like Obz, the hub of the artsy fartsy people, my kind of people.  This city never sleeps, the building have so much character, there is something for everyone.   The Hip-Hop sessions are insane...I may not be back soon, nor will I leave my beloved Cape Town, but Johannesburg you not so bad after all...and please do be kind to my Chocky:-)