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| The upside of fear Sylvia Lafair |
I have come to realise that fear is the worst thing in the world. It holds you back, undermines all your accomplishments and locks you up in a small dark room. Pressures you to be its roommate but does not help with the bills. Fear is worse than a bad boyfriend, who took you for granted when you were with him, but won't let you go now that you say its over.
It comes into your house, makes itself tea, chooses a comfortable couch and simply overstays without being slightly bothered about what "people or a person" might think. You feel it lurking in your room, even though you put a DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door. Then you end up entertaining it, playing mind games with it, while it chuckles softly because you gave it the time of day. It should be complimented on its patience, its commitment because its just waiting for you to crack...
Yet I cannot seem to operate without mine, as much as I hate it, sometimes I need 'FEAR' to jumpstart me into action. I procrastinate too much, so "fear" whispers in my head silly ideas. I am not sure if one can also say fear is equivalent to one's gut feeling, because if it is, then it has saved me from terrible situations before. Half of the time its not because am scared of it, but I get a high out of proving it wrong. Maybe its not the "fears' fault but am my own worst critic and enemy. Shifting the blame is always so much easier...
Maybe if I look at it in that positive manner as its my "gut feeling", then we can share our dark room, even though inside my head am still a resistant roommate.
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